Going Towards the Light

It won’t be long now for my dad, he is declining quickly.

In Mexico, people believe that death is simply a transition from one life to another, that life is a dream and our real life starts when we wake up… at death. I love the Day of the Dead because it celebrates the lives of the ones we’ve lost, instead of mourning their death. Families look forward to the day when souls can return to visit.

Native Americans sing for their deceased, to help them find their way on their journey. I like the idea of the journey. It’s perhaps the healthiest way I can imagine to think about death. I find it comforting.

I have friends that I know I’ve known before so I  believe in old souls, that we live more than one life. When somebody dies, I make a promise to myself to find them in the next life. That way we are not really saying goodbye, but see ya’ later. 

As for my dad… he has not been himself for a very long time. The Alzheimer’s has taken it’s toll over the past 15 years. This past year, even though he has been here, he’s not really been here. I know I wouldn’t want to be trapped like that.

I like the idea that my dad will finally wake up from the dream he’s been trapped in… so I’m not sure how to feel right now. I guess I am happy for him and sad for the rest of us.

None of us really knows what happens when we die, but I’ve always had a healthy curiosity and I don’t fear death. The possibilities are endless.

I was pleased when the Biscuit’s kindergarten teacher taught about the Day of the Dead. Each year at Burning Man, people remember lost loved-ones at the Temple, with writings and photos. When the Temple is burned, we release them, our sorrow and pain. The Biscuit has been writing letters to his kitty Boo Boo at the temple for years. He believes his message is sent when the temple burns so he finds solace in the ritual.

The Biscuit loves science and technology so he’s got a healthy sense of wonder. “Mom, how about this… if we know somebody who is going to die, we give them a cell phone. Then they can call us from wherever they are and we’ll know what really happens.” Maybe somebody will come up with an Iphone App for that.

When my sister died at the age of 18, my Uncle Peter said, “Now she knows everything.”  I thought that was such a cool thing to look forward to. When my uncle died years later, I remembered his words and it made me happy for him.

I am trying to keep happy thoughts for my dad and his pending journey. I know I’ll see him again in another life. It won’t be long now.