Just Below the Surface

I recently went snow-shoe’ing with the Biscuit, my sister Clare, my dear friend Marcy and her toddler Allistair. It was my fist time and trekking across the frozen Ice Lake in Soda Springs was amazingly serene, silent and peaceful.

With so much snow atop the frozen lake, it was easy to forget that a just below the surface, was a deep abyss of freezing water. It wasn’t until to neared the lake’s shallow edge, that we could see a hint of blue water below the surface.

Realizing the potential danger, the three of us mommies decided to move towards the thicker part of the lake.

The Biscuit however, remained fearless and continued to bound happily like a bunny across the ice and snow, totally unconcerned of any dangers. 

I don’t know if being an adult is a curse in that respect… being fully aware and distracted of the dangers right beneath our feet, versus enjoying the moment like the Biscuit does.

Peacefully moving across the beautiful and dangerous ice is a perfect metaphor for struggles of daily life. There is always a  potential risk for pain and suffering just below the surface. As someone living with depression, I am well aware of the pain that threatens to bubble to the top.  It’s always there… I always know it’s there, and it knows that I know.

Questions to ponder: Does worrying about the pain below our feet give it strength? Is it better to remain cautious or ignore our natural instinct of fear? Is it possible to have a healthy respect and relationship with the pain? How does one keep moving and enjoy the beauty around us without becoming paralyzed by fear?

Obviously I don’t know the answers to these questions so I am constantly searching for understanding, piece of mind and solace.